The Gap

I have a weird sort of habit. I look at people's teeth. I look at teeth when I'm meeting someone for the first time, or when I haven't seen someone in a while. I look at the teeth of even my close friends, but not really my family. And I realized, I sometimes judge people (because, really who doesn't judge) on the basis of teeth! It's totally uncalled for.

I don't like yellow teeth. A little yellow is fine because it's natural, but really yellow teeth is a sign of bad hygiene. Crooked teeth show me that you really don't care about the appearance of your teeth, or you're a FOB (fresh of the boat), and didn't have the money or the social pressure to get braces. But the killer for me are gaps. Now a Madonna gap is beautiful because it's come to a point where it's naturally perfect. The gaps that distrub me are those that seem to be everywhere.

I ran into an ex-friend's mother today at the market. (That darn market, I swear it's jinxed.) I said hello, she asked me why I don't talk to her daughter anymore, I made up a quick excuse, etc. But the whole time we were chatting, all of 5 minutes, I couldn't stop staring at her teeth. I now wonder if she knew that...that I was staring at her teeth! What is my problem?! I have a tendency to do that at interviews too. Or instead of looking someone directly in the eye, I'll look at their bags under their eyes. I caught myself this week starting at my supervisor's teeth. Now I can't remember if they were nice, but obviously didn't make a great impression on me. I'd admire people with really nice teeth. Correction: I admire the teeth of people with really great teeth. My cousin, Alice, has gorgeous teeth...I have teeth envy.

I can't figure out why I do this. Seriously. If anyone has an idea, I'd love to know. Is it a psychological thing, or a past life thing? Or am I just weird? Anyway, I never realized my ex-friend's mom's teeth gaps as a child. There are many things I guess I didn't realize as a child. Growing up does something to people. It makes us care about nonsense things. We care too much about too much, and we fear things that we never would if we were 5 years old again. When I was kid, my biggest fear was the dark, not whether or not I'd find a job for my 2L summer.

What is it about that gap from being a kid to becoming an adult... What happened in between? Somewhere between 5 and 25, I was taught to literally be afraid of everything - going to a goos school, making money, finding a job, fitting in, looking stupid, looking smart, finding a spouse, having kids before it's too late, losing weight, and even when I was 14, getting straight teeth. And then, I fear the fear that I fear. Ridiculous.

So as I stood there, in the candy and cookie isle of the market, staring at ahjumma's (lady, in korean) teeth, I literally did think - hmm...she really should get that fixed.