changing gears

Good grief. July is almost over. This year is just flying by and I'm literally sitting in the same seat I was sitting in for the past year and a half. Two years since I graduated, and I still have nothing to show for it.

Since today is the last day of July Bar exams, I thought I'd take a moment to reflect on the "better days." My gosh, I can't believe I'm referring to Bar days as "better days," but when I look back, I really did feel like I could have achieved anything after passing the Bar. I was ready to take on the world. Since then, the job market and my inability to find anything worthwhile has just about drained me to the last drop.

I sat at the desk this morning, started the daily search for jobs and let out the biggest sigh. This is the toughest thing I've had to face. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that my job search has been much more grueling than preparing for the Bar. I know, I know. Hear me out though.

When it was Stella vs. the Bar Exam, the ball was completely in my court. It was up to me to study my ass off, put in the time and discipline to succeed. Right now, I'm just about doing everything in my power, but the final decision isn't about how prepared I am. It all comes down to whether the interviewer likes me enough to offer me the job. I've struck out too many times to count this year.

In July, I've learned something very important that's changed my attack plan. In this economy, in order to get considered for a position, you need to know somebody, or know somebody that knows somebody. The good old fashion way of finding a posting, submitting a cover letter and resume doesn't cut it anymore. All that mumbo jumbo you hear about networking, well...it's all true. I wish I was a shmoozer, I wish I had a rolodex full of names, I wish I was good at going to networking events and chatting up partners... I'm not. I'm very social, but I'm not fake. Still, hope is not lost forever. Ask friends, ask friends to ask their friends. People are bound to know at least one attorney. Swallow your pride, admit to classmates you're looking for a job, and see if they can help.

A couple friends of friends came through for me this month. To make a very long, awful story short, I'll mention that I actually took an associate position that paid less than I made in 2001, prior to attending law school. It was at a bankruptcy office, and I lasted 2 days before I quit. I know what you're thinking... But trust me, this was a bad situation and the smartest thing I did was stick up for myself and leave.

My second connection got me an interview with Big Law Firm this week. I was nervous, more nervous than I've even been for any interview. I wanted to make a great impression, and I honestly did the best I could. Still, the interviewer was focused on the fact that I don't have any experience in this specific area. Ugh...I so want this job. I'm really hoping this one's it.

Even if these leads don't get me anywhere, I'm still so grateful that there are genuinely kind people that are willing to help. The people that helped me land interviews this month were complete strangers. I'm absolutely blown away by how people will go out of their way to help someone they don't know. The best part - I made a couple friends that I plan to stay in touch with. Even without a job, I think that alone has made it a successful month.