Politely Rude

In the Korean language, there are certain statements with double meanings. For instance, the phrase pronounced, "kuh-juhd dah" can mean two things. It can mean, "You've grown," as in, you're not the baby/child you once were last I saw you. Or it can mean, "You've grown...fat."

In the past few encounters I've have with my parents' friends, they've all told me, "Kuh-judh dah!" I've taken this statement to initally mean, oh, I've grown since they last time they've seen me. True, true. I was but a wee child in high school the last time they saw me.

Wrong.

Today I went to the market with my mom. Not just any market, the Korean market. That place is like a field of bombs waiting to go off if I take the wrong step. Sure enough...BOOM! My dad's friend's wife was there...first thing she said is how I've grown. It hit me now...an hour later that she meant I've gotten fat.

Koreans are so sneaky about it too. Only Koreans have a way of being politely rude. It's incredible. They can get away with saying just about anything and it will, for some reason, be okay. The reason is always something so cultural like, she's older, he's a man, he's a grandfather, this that, blah blah. And the worst part in all this is I'm supposed to take it all in with a smile. Say thank you.

Korean mothers are notorious for creating a mirage about their life. Example - Only a Korean mother can conjure up some unbelievable story of how well their kid is doing when their kid is actually sitting on their ass watching daytime soaps. It's a god-given talent. I am convinced this lady had to tell me that I've "grown" in order to make herself feel better about her own daughters. She'll now go back home, tell her husband and girls how she ran into my mom and me at the market, and how much I've "grown" since she last saw me. She'll comment about how time can change anything and how I look exactly like my dad. She'll probably also think how lucky she is that her daughters haven't "grown" so much, might even say it out loud.

So I've decided. Next time someone comments on how much I've "grown," I'll just have to say, "Oh hey, you've grown too."

ZING!