Thanks

It's very strange, what's happened here. I've had talks with people regarding the situation I am now in. I'm moving out, but I still don't know where I'm going. K's been commuting back and forth from H's house in boonsville. Seriously, that's how far she'd go to be together...literally - far. My mom asked the other day, when I told her about my situation, if they were "homosex." Not homosexual, but homosex. I almost feel that would be a good reason for all this mess, but no. I told her no. She also asked, "So you lost another friend?"

Sadly, I think that one's a yes. But were we ever friends? I can analyze this to death, over and over, asking very philisophical questions about friendship, blah, blah. I'd rather not do that anymore. This week, I think I've managed to get A all annoyed with me. How, I don't know. I think she's just annoyed all together. They went apartment hunting today. Surprisingly, only a very small part of me feels bad. I feel bad for A, but she's being such a ___ right now, I can't even feel that bad for her. I'm keeping my distance.

That seems to be the answer in all this. Distance. While I find myself moving farther and farther away from the people that I thought were my friends, I'm also beginning to realize those who are true friends. I asked one of the attorneys at work whether she kept in touch with any of her law school friends. She simply said no. I think that's all I had to know... In the end, after graduation, after I find a job, after law school, the people who hurt me won't matter anymore. They shouldn't matter now, but it's always harder in the moment.

This is Thanksgiving week. Seems like time flew by. I'm already starting finals soon, haven't done a single outline. It's stinkin hot. 85 degrees today. I hate it. Everyday, I wish I was in San Francisco. Everyday, I get a little sad. It's hard to give thanks when there's drama, but I truly am thankful for the everyday, the people that have my back no matter what. There are few, but I suppose life helps you figure out who they are.

When A and I were in the middle of the drama, she told me, "Don't trust anyone. Not even me." I beginning to see how true that is...