Since January, I don't remember losing any sleep over this exam, like I did during Round One. Even this past week, I slept like a baby. Last night, however, I didn't even get in a wink. The adrenaline and excitement of finally defeating this shit kept me awake throughout the night. I think a part of me didn't want to sleep, in fear that it was all a perfect dream.
After the most divine day at the spa and browsing downtown, I made it home around 7pm. I took my time all day, and it actually kept my mind off of results for the most part. I completely lost it during my drive home, though. I was crying even before I walked into the house.
It happened just like I had visualized a hundred times in my head. The room, the computer, the daylight - I had seen it all before, with one slight difference. I had my sister check the results for me. I could not get myself to type in the numbers. I was so afraid I wouldn't see what I desperately needed to see. My sister entered my info and asked me about 20 times whether she should push enter. I cried and said no, no, no. She stopped listening to me, pushed enter, and paused. It was the longest couple seconds of my life.
If you were sitting still at 7:20pm-ish and heard a horrific sound, that was me screaming my head off. It was fabulous...just like I had imagined.
To my fellow Round Deuxers that will be taking it in July, I completely admire you for your strength. I will be here, thinking about you everyday, pulling for you.
Thank you, BBs (blogosphere buddies) for your support. Really couldn't have made it without you.
;)
5 comments:
Congrats sweetie!
congrats stella.. i've been reading your blog and am (now) a first time failer.. any insight will be much appreciated!!!
so excited for you!
ashley
Ashley...I know exactly how you feel. Really, I do. I'll be posting my list of what I believe helped me pass this 2nd time.
My advice right now is to take the time you need to regroup and re-focus. It doesn't hurt to step away for a week or two. I'm so sorry for what you're going through right now, but trust me, you'll make it.
I couldn't sleep either!!!
Congrats girly!!
Congratulations!
Sorry I'm late to your party. My old jalopy broke down on the 16th and I just now got it back on the road.
Way to go, passing that damn exam. I'm determined to join you on the other side in November.
Yay for you!
GP
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