collecting dust.

There are two things I can think of that's more tiring than looking for a job. 1) Complaining about not having a job, and 2) doing other people's jobs.

I'll be the first to admit that I'm pretty sick of hearing myself bitch about the job market. I'll be so ecstatic the day I can stop and say that I've finally landed a job.

Now that it's officially summer, people are realizing that my job search hasn't gone anywhere. One by one, friends and family have asked for a favor, then two, then three. I suddenly found myself doing things for other people every day of the week. Somehow, I'm now working for my sister, doing legal research for my brother, being the officially designated event planner anytime my friends and I want to go out, driving Miss Daisy and all her friends to and from the airport, taking IT calls from my dad...you name it.

This is what happens when you don't work for a while. They all figure, well Stella isn't doing anything anyway. I'm also guilty of thinking this way. My response is always, why not, I'm not working right now. I've reminded my family that I won't be so accessible once I start working! Yeah...that doesn't seem like it'll be a problem anytime soon.

So here I am, collecting dust. I'm scared. I don't want to be so available anymore... I miss the feeling of waking up early and having to get ready to go somewhere. I'm also losing hope. I can feel it whenever I apply to a job, everytime I think about tomorrow.

Oh wait. I'm doing it again, aren't I? :\