back to reality

I'm back...again. It's SO depressing to be back here in southern calfornia. I had lunch yesterday with myra and joe in North Beach. He asked, "Does it feel like you're coming back home when you come back to SF?" Most definitely. I feel like being back in so cal is really one long work week that never ends. I'm constantly working. Working for school, working for work, working at trying to remain calm at home, working at being patient with my dad, working at not losing my temper, working at attempting to be happy when I'm really not.

The very minute I stepped foot back into this house, realty hit me like a slap in the face. My dad started to complain, and he and my mom fought for about an hour. About what? About the fact that I said I didn't want to eat out last night, so my mom decided to order in. My dad's response to my mom was, "Why the hell do you listen to everything she says? She's good for nothing. Do you really think she's going to do anything for you when you're old?" [Translated from Korean.] In other words, he was mad about the fact that he had no control over my mom, and that she chose to do what I wanted over what he wanted. What a freak! For my dad, it's all about power. My sister and I discussed this - since he is a nobody in real life, he wants to be king of the family. So when we don't give him the power he so desperately wants, he goes crazy. What a nut case! Seriously, my dad's SUCH a nut.

Today, I spent my time away from the house. When I came back tonight, my mom seemed a bit sad. I knew something was bothering her. She eventually ended up telling me that my dad yelled at her for some long story that I'm not willing to type about, since it really is nothing. He gets mad at everything.

Which gets me to thinking, I know there is a heaven and a hell. Maybe not what society makes them out to be, but there is something of the sort. As a Christian/Catholic (because they really are the same no matter what Protestant's believe, preach, and brainwash into their followers), I have a duty to try and teach non-believers of God. (I realize I may sound very missionary-like here, but trust me, I'm far from it.) I am a sinner because of many things I do or fail to do. I am a sinner because I really don't care if my dad goes to hell. Why should I waste my time on teaching him about God when he won't believe or care. The man is SO annoying!

My sister made a comment when I was there is week. She said it was funny how people say daughters end up marrying people like their dads, but both of us are with people so very unlike our dad. That's the damn truth, and I'm so thankful for it.

[As I type, out goes my mom. My dad most likely sent her out to buy him beer. It's 8:45pm. What a jerk.]

Enough of the bad... On a brighter note, I had a wonderful week. I was beyond happy to be back up there with Danny and my sister. Even with our little skirmishes, he always makes me feel at peace. We ate...alot. So my weight loss plans were on hietus for the week, but I swear, they're back on. My danny is absolutely my most favoritest person.

Happy 29th Birthday, Hunnie!