Today's Conversation

Today's conversation with my devil of a dad consisted of:

Dad walks into the room with a door I can no longer close because he broke by slamming it 50 times during the last fight... (Really - 50 times. He counted...aloud.)

Dad: What are you doing!? [Annoyed tone of voice.]
Me: I'm studying. [Typing on my laptop.]
Dad: You think that because you tell me you're studying, I'm going to say, "Oh, you're studying so hard?"
Me: [Dirty look.]

Yesterday's conversaiont with my devil of a dad consisted of:
Dad: Stella, get downstairs right now! [Yelling.]
Me: What do you want? [Freak...under the breath.]
Dad: Did you take my wines?
Me: WHAT!?
Dad: DID YOU TAKE MY WINES!? [Proceeded to take me to the garage and show me the case of one dozen wines.]
Me: Did you ever stop to think that maybe you drink so much that you don't actually remember drinking the next bottle?
Dad: No, no. It was gone, but now it's back! [Excited.] Did you take it and then bring it back!? [Irritated.]

This, my friends, is the day-to-day bullshit I have to go through. So you ask, why am I back home? I have a mom that I actually like. I feel like I've abandoned her with the devil himself.

Yesterday, my dad was watching Chronicles of Narnia on TV. I explained that the Lion Aslan is supposed to represent God. He asked, well then who's the devil? I said, the Snow Queen. He said she didn't look like the devil. I said that's because the devil comes in many disguises. The devil tricks you and never actually wants to appear as his scary-ass self.

We both said at the same time, "You're the devil in disguise."

Great. He knows my secret. [Sarcasm.]