you've been saved. so what's the big deal?

To all the bible thumping, prayer pushing saved souls:
I'm happy that you've found your path. Really, I am. But please, please don't thump your bible on me.

On my birthday, I got an email from an old acquaintance, back from Cal sorority days (ah, the fun times). This is what she wrote:

"Happy Birthday, girllie, It's been too long since we chatted! I'm loving it here in Austin/Georgetown more and more every week. Sure it's hot, but I love the family and friends at church..."

And that's how she ended it. I'm afraid that if I respond to her (yeah, yeah...I'm bad for keeping her hanging), she'll just try to "push me towards the light" and help save my rotting soul....because Catholics are going to hell, too, as I have been told many times. No, it doesn't matter that we have the same God. Since catholics "worship" Mary and are lead by scary popes, our souls will burn. My little cousin, who is protestant, learned at his church that people who make the sign of the cross are evil and will go to hell. He was only seven when he started learning to hate. To this day, his church teaches that to the young children. His church also happens to be one of the biggest churches in southern california, with many branches. To my joy, they've recently spread to San Francisco.

Back to the email, funny thing is, the girl had never ever been the religious type. In fact, she's always been, how should I put it...a bitch. (Thus "acquaintance," and not friend.) But then again, neither had my very good friend Jenny, who is now a born-again Christian, to the *th degree. After I read the email, I said to myself, oh great, another one. Sigh. We haven't seen, spoke, or emailed in years, and suddenly now that she's found God, she emailed. How convenient. I can't handle another crazy Christian in my life.

I like to think of finding God as finding a pair of really cute, perfect jeans on sale. You can't help but be so damn happy about your find that you have to share the news with anyone that's willing to listen, and even those who aren't so willing. You want to have everyone get in on the deal and hop on the same gravy train with you. So yes, I get it. I understand your enthusiasm and excitement, and I'm genuinely happy that you have been saved from the depths of hell.

But that's where my understanding ends. I have many, many issues with Christian politics, as I like to call it. My very good friend Jenny is against gays, gay marriage, pro guns, pro gender roles, anti-abortion, pro government in everything. So I wonder, how is it that we're still friends. Thing is, while we are clearly opposites when it comes to Christian politics, I don't judge her. I try my very hardest, and trust me it's hard, to respect her choices. I believe she is a good person, even though she's clearly been brainwashed.

There is just one thing I can't understand - why crazy Christians (not all Christians, just the crazy ones) can't just let things be. There's no other religion that tries to penetrate all sectors of life like the Christians. No other religion as a whole in the U.S. tries to control education, politics, social issues, personal freedoms and human rights like the Christians. Seriously, you don't see the Jewish people trying to ban Christmas and and the holiday crap that comes with it. So here's the thing - if another religious group were trying to do the same, push their beliefs onto society, Christians would have none of it and neither would the rest of the country.

So I say, let the people be. Let us make our choices, even if it means that you think we'll go to hell. Who cares, it's our life. If we want to smolder in the depths of never-ending misery, so be it.

Just quit trying to "save" everyone. Quit going into the South America and Middle East to barter food and water in exchange for a promise to convert. Stop going to Afghanistan and thumping your bible when you haven't adequately studied the people, the politics, the religion and the relationship between all three. Don't be so damn ignorant about life.

Understand and respect. Didn't God teach that in the bible?