push me.

Really. Give me a hard shove towards the right direction...that being towards the library. That's where I should be from morning to night like I was during the Summer. I can't seem to break my habit of doing nothing. I've become spoiled from all the hours of watching TV, researching wedding things, and looking for new furniture. My priorities must change, but I can't seem to shift them around.

I'm behind already. I'm sure all the other Feb. test takers have opened books, looked over their outlines. Me? I've managed to take out my torts outline and simply start at the definition of battery. Really, how is it that I don't remember the definitions of intentional torts! All I did this past summer was start at them everyday!

Ugh. I'm already sick of this and I haven't even started. I need discipline. I need to want this more than anything, but I just don't anymore.

This reminds me of chemistry my first year of undergrad at Cal. I worked my tooshy off to go pre-med, but it just didn't work. I wasn't meant for science, so I kind of gave up altogether. I'm feeling the same type of challenge here. I gave it my all the first time around, and I don't know if I have it in me to do it again, but better.

Everyone's telling me to study. I don't want to. Fuck studying. Fuck the damn bar exam! Argh!

(Two minutes later...)

Alright...I'll go to the library tomorrow...