You know, I realize this whole unemployed thing is getting old. Real old. It's about over a year old, and no one wants to hear about the same shit over and over again. I get it and that's okay. Still, I don't think it's okay for my friends to forget or get used to the idea. I need encouragement once in a while.
I know. It sounds a little pathetic that I want/need support. And I really don't mean to whine. If one of my friend's was out of a job for over a year, I'd be encouraging her to keep at it. My friends don't really acknowledge my joblessness. If I talk about an interview, it seems that one of my attorney friends asks questions only to get a sense of what's out there for herself...which really bothers me. No one else gives a crap.
Anyway, I'm ranting like this because today I was supposed to have another phone interview, but the man never called me. Without getting into details, I'll just say that the whole situation was weird to begin with. After a few questionable conversations with his assistant, I decided to call her, tell her I'm no longer interested in the position, and skip the whole thing. I figured, I wouldn't want to work for/with anyone who gives me the run around just for a phone interview.
But during all of this, I was emailing friends for advice and to vent. We have an email thread going just about every morning. For some reason, no one responded to my email, ignored everything I wrote, and instead talked about other crap. Yeah, I was annoyed. So here I am, spilling out all over my blog again.
I have always had a "thing" about keeping friends. It's a common theme in my life. Scroll back to the beginning of this blog and you'll read about one dysfunctional friendship after another. I really keep in contact with only a solid group of friends. I hate knowing people for the sake of saying I know them. I don't have a million numbers in my cell phone. I haven't kept in touch with a single person from high school. When I think about that, I wonder if there's something wrong with me because it's so easy for me to say see ya.
It seems the older I get, the harder it is to make new friends. Even with my close group of friends, our differences become more transparent these days. It's weird. I'm like on this never ending quest to find the perfect girlfriend. Someone who never lets me down, who gets me completely, the female equivalent of Mr. O. I think that's why I've had so many "break-ups."
I know I'm the sensitive one out of our group. I'm the one that everyone else talks to when the shit hits the fan for them. When I'm down on my luck, I resort to blogging! It's like they don't have the time or patience to listen. So sad.
4 comments:
that sucks that your friends aren't as supportive as they ought to be. it sounds like they are totally avoiding it altogether, as if it makes them uncomfortable to acknowledge it. not that that excuses it. and that other friend who asks questions apparently only for her own self-interest? SOO not cool.
it really shouldn't be too much for your friends, if they truly were your friends, to be supportive each step of the way. seriously, i know how you feel on the whole topic of just letting go of friends when they are just no longer your friends. i feel like that happens with me a lot, too, and while i wonder why i tend to let that happen, a part of me just always wants to feel secure that the people i DO keep around me, in my life, are truly those that i can count on when i need that support. some people can pass that test, or they may pass that test at a specific point in time, but there comes a time when they inevitably fall away. i just kinda accept it. . . .
ha ha! but that's why i blog, too. when stuff happens, there's no one i can really talk to about stuff! and yet i'm the one whom people like to talk to, too.
seriously, i feel like you're my doppelganger -- or that you're mine. ;) LOL!
either way, hang in there! what i suggested to weezy the other day is that she check out staff counsel jobs with the state! i don't know if you've tried that avenue yet, but it seems like the state's always trying to hire attorneys. you get great benefits, too (despite the furlough)! please do check it out!
www.spb.ca.gov.
sorry to hear bout your present condition.
At times, as I go from Grand Poobah to JD to yours and others law blogs, I am almost thankful that I haven't passed the freakin' bar yet
(ALMOST)
It seems like such a jungle out there and it seems like all of you great wonderful attorneys in waiting are scratching and clawing your way through just to pick up the scraps that the Lords of the Manor(State of CA Big Firms) will miss
Anyways, I was writing to you to try to cheer you up, cuz like my wife and me, I think you need some cheerin up and support.(Guess I'm not doin' a great job)
Anyhow, I'm currently a law clerk, no real great prospects til the bloody Bar is conquered,
currently my wife is trying to get her degree
all the while managing our 3 year old full time?!
and well, we really just barely, and i mean BARELY make ends meet.
I decided to take some night classes in Mediation at Fresno Pacific(maybe if the law thing don't work I can do some ADR stuff)
and well,
I'm pretty stressed...
But what I've got to tell you is most important of all...
Keep Believing in You,
No matter, and I mean, No Matter What Else...
Look, I've got no guarantees, no magic formula, may never be successful, but at least I believe in myself and family
I try every morning to say, hey, I may not be rollin' in dough,
but at least I got feet!(Some people don't)
Finally, you are the most important star in your Universe,
Your voice, your support and no one else's is the most important vital energy to everything you will do today, and in the future
Friends come and go,
but if you can't rely on them, maybe its not forever, maybe it is,
the point is
You believe,
I believe in you 2, for all that's worth,
and hey, at least you got feet!
Hope your future ambitions are matched with all your successes and your stars come out shining!
just read this post:
this post from another blogger about friendship.
and thought about this one you just wrote. :)
OMG! OMG!
Stella, I swear I was just about to write on this very same topic.
Seriously.
It's kinda freaking me out.
I put out an email too, venting to my friends and basically asking for some support. Nothing. Zilch.
When I managed to get a hold of some, nothing. In fact, I get an earful about their lives. And this hurts...not even an acknowledgment or inquiry of concern.
My circle of friends grows smaller each year...
I think you did the right thing about that interview. Just because the job market allows employers to be more selective, it does not grant give them a pass to be inconsiderate of our time and unprofessional in their manner.
Stay strong, Stella. I may not know you in real life, but I totally appreciate you.
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