I had some time to think about my last post and your comments. During the past couple of weeks, I got through a nasty cold (may have even been as bad as Abbagirl's), watched a lot of movies to escape reality, and barely made it through a panel interview for a position that I have yet to hear back from.
I came to a conclusion about my current situation, which is that I'm doing nothing wrong. I've taken all the right steps in order to get employed, I've covered all my bases. Thing is, I don't believe in starting from the way bottom to get my foot in the door. I do believe that yes, there are some exceptions to that rule, but they have to be really good exceptions, even during this economic crunch. Example, if I wanted to work in-house for Virgin Airlines, I don't think starting at the check-in counter would work.
For me, it's not about pride, but it is about self-worth. I think there's quite a difference between the two. Like all other attorneys, I've put in my time and my hard work. I think I deserve a position where I can put my esq. to practice with decent pay. Otherwise, I would rather continue doing pro bono work.
So for now, I keep going. I did have an interview last week where one of the interviewers grilled me pretty hard. He stared at my resume and read through my earlier positions with non-profits and such. He asked me what happened to my passion, where my drive to do good for humanity went. I answered the best I could, kept it positive, but I seriously wonder the same thing sometimes.
I'm not going to go on and on about how I've lost motivation... Leave that for another day.
This sudden heat made for an incredible day at the ballpark yesterday. Giants won 2-0. I was the girl yelling gibberish, sweating bullets, and literally taking off her clothes in the stands. I helped throw a bbq this weekend. Tri-tip and baby back ribs went straight from my mouth to my thighs. Met up with lots of friends...and their babies, drank cold beer out of a frosted glass, and went biking on a sunny day (since those ribs probably won't disappear on their own). Really, what do I have to complain about, right? Life is good...on the weekends. '-'
1 comment:
Stella,
Despite my earlier comments about starting anywhere and working your way up...I gotta say I agree with you 100% with what you said right here.
I remember thinking the exact same thing...after all the schooling, all the hard work, all of the successes and failures...it sucks that after all this, I still can't get a job.
It's a very true feeling and one that was (and still is) shared by me as I see doctors my age (some of them clients asking for my advise!) buying million dollar houses as I look from the sidelines. Did I not work as hard? Am I not as smart? Am I not worth the same? Will it ever change?
It WILL change tho...and you will reap the rewards of all of your hard work eventually. Perhaps this expirience will help you with the hardest thing to do in life...appreciate the opporunity that you will one day have.
I'm sorry if my previous comments on your blogg were irritating! I really am looking forward to the good news.
YL
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