I'm listing all of the mean crazy things my dad does from now on so that I remind myself why I can't live here anymore:
My mom's out with her friends and told my dad she'd come home with dinner. She asked me what I wanted before she left, and I told her I could care less. She called several times in the past 5 minutes because everything my dad wants is closed (because my dad is a stupid child who doesn't know how to buy his own dinner). So she called again and asked my to go buy my dad and me dinner. I told her I'm not going to eat anytime soon b/c I'm a freakin stressed wreck right now (trying to prepare for my motion, class presentation, proof read a paper, and finalize my externship work). I told her he can either cook for himself or go buy himself something to eat. Afterall, the man is 62, not 102, and last I checked, he had all the limbs required to either phone in a dinner or drive to buy dinner. My mom asked to speak to my dad again, where he screamed at her and called her stupid and then hung up on her.
I hate HATE the way my mom has to do everything for him, as though he's the king. And that's exactly what he wants. I hate the way everyone's so damn scared of him. For instance, my aunt from Germany called this morning, in order to finalize her plans to visit in May. I told her my mom was right next to me, in which she responded, "Oh thank goodness. I'd much rather speak to your mom than your dad." I laughed and said, "Who wouldn't" and told my mom what my aunt had said. My aunt then told me not to repeat that outloud and asked if my dad heard. I'm thinking, WHO CARES!? We all need to give him a great big kick in the ass. Then maybe he'd undertand that he can't continue to behave the way he has been for his entire lifetime... On second thought, maybe not. He'll never get it.
So that's the kind of shit I have to live with everday. Stupid little things like this, who's getting dinner because my dad can't do it himself... And when my mom tries to accomodate him, he just yells at her.
*sigh*
1 comment:
HI, I've been reading your blog for some time now. I pray for you nearly everytime I read it. It's not a "i feel so sorry for you prayer" but more a "I feel so sad for her. Help her get through this Lord, clear the fog so she can truly see you." You're world sounds harsh and abrasive...I admit mine is pretty benign. But still I feel for you. I wonder why life isn't fair sometimes. But I do remember that even Jesus's life wasn't fair to him. You're making a good path for yourself it sounds. Keep it up. I couldn't help but notice your thoughts about God and religion etc...I don't believe He's punishing you I really don't. I think what you are experiencing are the results of a messed up world...I think more so he wants to comfort you. I think too He wants your heart. God Bless you Stella. ~~
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