Dreamer

People that know me know that I have lots of vivid, sometimes wild dreams. Some make sense, some make no sense at all. Some are very indicative of my future, some are memories of the past. But almost every night, I have a clear dream that I can usually recall in the morning.

I have one reoccuring dream where I'm running in this hotel. It's a very nice hotel, posh, red carpeting, red wallpapering, dark wooden walls. The staircase is made of old cherry wood, deep and rich in color, and the stairs are lined with the red carpeting. The feeling is old, elegant, classic, but modern at the same time. The most unique aspect of this hotel are the elevators. They make absolutely no sense. There are lots of elevators, located in different areas. But all the elevators go to different floors. For instance, one goes to floors 5-10, another goes to floors 40-56. Really random. There's no order and I always seem to get in one, hoping to end up on a particular floor, but I always end up lost. In some dreams, I'm stuck in the elevator with lots of people. In other dreams, I'm running through the halls, trying to make it on an elevator. Sometimes, I'm in my room. But always, it's chaotic. I'm in a hurry or I'm panicking.

The other day, I had the same dream. Danny most elequently said that it's probably because I'm feeling lost at the moment. I'm trying to find a summer job, but things are working out as planned. How very true. But as I said before, I'm perfectly happy with just relaxing. If only people didn't expect things out of me, I'd be fine with scrapbooking and planning my friend's baby shower. It's these darn expectations that seem to get in the way.

People seems to dream about big things - being successful, buying a house, getting their dream car. Why can't I dream about simplicity? It's socially unacceptable. I'd be inadequate if I returned to school from my summer and had accomplished nothing real. But why can't relaxing be an accomplishment?

What did you do this summer, Stella?
I sat on my ass, and I was completely happy.

*Sigh*
One can only dream.