getting it together

I'm having one of those downer days. It's been pretty good for the last week up until today. I've been scheduling interviews and having fun with friends. It seems to all end today, in a sense. I'm flying back to LA. A little depressed about the whole situation. My interview today for a position in San Francisco got cancelled because the attorney had to attend a hearing in court. I have an interview tomorrow in the OC and on Friday, I'm meeting with the attorney who's letting me work from home.

I called several offices that I had applied to last week. One by one, they told me the position had been filled. How is it that these positions were already filled when the listing just came out last week!? I swear, I thought I was one of the first to apply. One after the other, my heart began sinking because these were the jobs I really wanted. At least interview me! It's all about chance, you know. When it comes down to it, how do I know whether they even looked at my resume.

The combination of rejections and having to go back home is really getting me down when all I need to focus on is getting it together. My hope is that I'll go back home and no one will criticize me, put me down, frustrate me by asking why I haven't found a decent job, etc. Yet, the reality is that my parents can be the most annoying people in the world. Although they mean the best, they don't always seem to mean the best for me. They want what's best for them. As long as put-on-the-pedistal brother is still working for the top-notch firm, I'll be the loser child.

The thought of going home is depressing me right now. *Sigh*