I've been surprisingly calm this week. I've had occasional jitters about results. I'm wondering if I'm the only one that does this, but I go about my day with sporadic prayers. I'll be pouring cereal into my bowl, taking a shower, or going pee, and I'll start begging please, please let me have passed.
Overall, my mind has been at peace. Simply put, I think I passed. It's supposed to be my year! The year of big changes! Sure, I f*ed up on a couple of those essays and the first PT, but I am completely convinced it's my turn. I'm not losing hope. Not just yet. I'm sticking to my positive thinking and happy visualizations. I once read, if you visualize, it will materialize. Yes, I know. Cheesy as heck, but what more do I have but hope?
And what if I don't pass...what's the worst thing that can happen to me? I'll just have to take the crap all over again. I've already let my family and myself down by not passing the first run. Everyone's hoping I pass this time, but really, they aren't going to be as shocked if it doesn't happen.
One thing's for certain - if I don't pass, I'm not taking it in July. I've simply lost the drive for it right now.
5 comments:
Oh man, I wish I was calm even for one second. You're a stronger woman than I Stella, I'm a mess!
Good luck to you!!
I feel you completely!
Whatever happens--happens.
We've already been through the worst of it.
And if by chance it's not meant to be, I'm definitely waiting until next February.
Thanks for the calm thoughts. Hang in there. Best of luck.
i like your outlook on things. i'm going to try and adopt the same. (=
g'luck friday!
Congrats on maintaining such a positive outlook!! I can appreciate, too, waiting another year to take the exam again. I really just want to have a normal life again for a little while...
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