meaning

My long weekend was stressful and relaxing at the same time. Danny and I rode our bikes through Golden Gate Park in San Francisco. We had lunch at Park Chalet, on the beach. The highlist was probaly watching Teatro Zinzanni, a dinner theater show. I would definitely recommend it for those in San Francisco and Seattle. We also watched a couple of movies, and I met up with my friends for dinner one night. So not a minute was wasted over the weekend. I definitely tried to make the most of everything. Yet, behind all the laughing, I was still worried about what I would have to accomplish this week. The three day weekend was just an extension of my long vacation. I am, however, thankful for the fact that I get to deal with the stress on my own, with minimal pressure from home. It was by far the smartest move to come up to the Bay Area.

I had that elevator dream again. Although, this time it wasn't at the same hotel. It was in a dorm-like place. When I rode the elevator, it started falling really fast, to the point where my feet were off the ground. I heard someone ask, "Does it always go this fast?" I held onto the side bar in the elevator until it stopped. No crashing, no hurting, just chaos for about 5 seconds.

Last night I had an even more bizarre dream. I was with some expedition class/law school class and we were watching whales. We were all in this huge pool, like the ones at Sea World, but only half of our bodies were in the water. This huge whale would come swimming around and each time, I would pet him. The whale was gigantic and black. It wasn't a killer whale, more like a blue whale. I got the sense that it was dangerous to pet the whale, but it was friendly. Then somehow, something happened in between all of the class stuff and one thing lead to another. I don't remember what happened, but there was this big frog in the picture. It wasn't just any frog, but a smart frog...smart as in, human smart. It got to jumping around and then - this is the gross part - it was in my mouth. The frog was hanging upside down, stuck on the roof of my mouth, refusing to let go. I kept trying to pry the darn thing out, disgusted with the situation. I asked people for help, but everyone kind of seemed preoccupied with things. Finally, I pryed off its little froggie arms and legs off my teeth and threw it in the air. I had a nasty taste in my mouth, and I was disgusted, but thankful it was out.

I woke up thinking, what the hell. I tried looking up the meaning but I found different conclusions. Some say the whale is a symbol of strength. Another meaning said it had something to do with my love life and how there isn't much to salvage. But the meaning of the frog was the most strange - one said a frog means there is bad health in the family, which is true. Not surprisingly, I couldn't find anything dealing with a frog stuck in the mouth.

I do believe dreams have meanings to some extent, whether it has to do with things going on at the moment, or things that happened in the past. As far as fortelling the future, I'm not so sure. It has happened to me on occasion, but one could rationalize that as ideas already known and just put together, like a puzzle.

So at the moment, I'm trying to figure out the "meaning of my life," for at least this summer. I still haven't found a job, I'm still trying to decide what to do and how long I should remain in the Bay Area. When should I just give up and go back home? Another option is to go to a country in Africa for a month. It's something I wanted to do, and the only reason I'm hesistant is because it's unfamiliar.

We'll see where this all goes...